1 Peter 5:7-8

1 Peter 5:

7 Give all your worries to Him because He cares for you.

8 Keep awake! Watch at all times. The devil is working against you. He is walking around like a hungry lion with his mouth open. He is looking for someone to eat.

There is so much truth in this! How blessed are we as God's people that we can literally just "give" or "cast" our worries on our King? Why is this so absolutely hard for us so many times? I hold on to my worries and cares because "I am not done with them yet". Because they are still mine, and to give them to God is completely letting go... losing grip on that last thread I am hanging on by.

Verse 8 is a warning to us. This one isn't as warm and fuzzy as our first statement, so we skim over. But isn't it beautiful to see the contrast between the two? Good and evil. Since the beginning of time. As Christians, we love to think that God is there for us (rightfully so, it's a wonderful comfort!!). We don't like to think as much, however, about the fact that we have an enemy who is willing to ATTACK us at our weakest points. Right in the knees.

When I don't give these worries to the Lord, they are left as my own. I am left to defend them. To hold on to them with all of my strength, whitening my knuckles with my firm grip. The enemy comes in and tries to devour me. What am I clothing myself in? The armor of God? Not in that moment. All I have to show are my fears and fretting heart. He will attack, and will most likely succeed because these things are weighing me down.

What's the point of this? GIVE IT TO GOD. Give it up! Right now! Whatever is burdening you... you have been offered a way out. Retreat! You do not have to show how strong you are by holding on. Let God hold you. "He CARES for you". Take comfort!

Being Refined.

The Lord has been constantly refining me in my attitudes and daily choices. Over the past couple of years, the Lord has pointed out to me on several occasions that life is made up of choices on my part. God has made the choice to love me, to care for me, to provide for me, and to never forsake me. He promises me that. He promises ALL of us that. Praise God! However, on my end, I have made those same exact promises. But, unlike our Holy Creator, I cannot keep those promises. I struggle so much. I am so guilty.

In the very beginning of August, I began having problems with my right eye. It began with a weird light-headed, constant tugging of my eye feeling like it needed to cross.... just weird stuff going on. I was a little confused. Eyesight was perfectly fine. Continuing to get worse, I went to the doctor. She sent me in for a brain MRI and to have seventeen blood tests drawn. My mind began racing and I instantly thought (with some wonderful help from my good ole' friend WebMD) that this was just the beginning of some long road of brain treatments and radiation (I'm insanely dramatic at times...). The MRI results came back that I had a sinus infection that was effecting my eye. This gave a great bit of consolation to my million-mile-a-minute mind! So I took my antibiotic... no relief. School had started by this point and my focus was constantly light-headed and scattered thanks to my eye that was so greatly effecting every thing that I did. It was hard to sleep, it was hard to look at the board in class, it was hard to have a conversation with someone without feeling like my eyes were constantly crossing. Studying and being on my computer was very difficult. How could this one little blip in my health be effecting me this much? I began to complain.....constantly. Mostly to myself. Giving myself an awful attitude about it. Why was this going on for so long? It seemed like such a insignificant problem was taking a towering position in my life because of everything that it was effecting.

So, fast forward...early September. Same stuff going on. Go back to the doctor. She puts me on a steroid and another antibiotic. While these medications did not help, I realized something while being on them. This small problem was really bringing my spirits down because I was constantly complaining to myself and others about how I was feeling. What did this help? Where did the scripture that I so confidently quoted a couple of months ago? Philippians 2:14 "Do everything without complaining and arguing, so that no one can criticize you. Live clean, innocent lives as children of God, shining like bright lights in a world full of crooked and perverse people." Philippians 2:5 "You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had." Philippians 4:6 "Don't worry about anything. Instead, pray about everything". 1 Peter 1:7 "These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold-- through your faith is far more precious than mere gold. So when your faith remains strong through many trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world."

Each of these verses from God's holy and precious word that I had so devoted myself to...seemed to slip away as I began being tested. This small problem with my eye had me losing faith and growing weary. However, our Almighty Father has a wonderful and perfect way of redirecting trials, frustration, and things that we see as useless into the very furnaces that shape us into who we are. As 1 Peter 1:7 says, these trials will show that your faith is genuine. I have the choice to choose to bring glory and honor to God's name in the way that I react to this, and I also have the choice to complain and grumble until the very last ounce of pain leaves my body. Which one will I CHOOSE? It's a daily battle because every morning when I wake up, the problem with my eye is still there. The enemy is constantly feeding me the lie that I am "entitled" to have a bad attitude. It still greatly effects me physically. But I am *FINALLY* able to see what James means when he says, "When troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy." I never really TRULY could understand that before. But in the CRAZIEST way, every time that I feel my eye start to pull and my focus begins to become disoriented, I feel closer to my Living God. My attitude has changed from wanting to cry every time it is causing me pain, to wanting to rejoice and praise God for this chance to grow closer to Him. I know full well, with a burning fire deep in my soul that my Good God is refining me. Even if it's through something as commonplace as an eye.

Disappointment.

Dealing with disappointment is one of my hardest struggles. I find it so easy to praise God and thank Him for everything in my life when things are going great. However, who wouldn't? I feel like there are so many times when I delight in the Lord with all my "heart, soul, and mind" (supposedly), but only when things are going just as I planned. What's wrong with that sentence? The "I planned" part. God has a perfect plan.. one that I cannot see. God takes all of my failures and turns them into something wonderful just for me! However, when I'm in the moment, I find it so hard to see the big picture. I've been continually praying that God gives me the strength to praise Him in the tough times when I'm disappointed. A bad grade on a test, a broken car, a lost wallet. Things that may seem like the end of the world at the moment, but really, these things don't matter. I need to stop, and just give it ALL to the Lord!

Psalm 131 How long, O LORD? Will You forget me forever?How long will You
hide Your face from me?2 How long shall I take counsel in my soul,Having
sorrow in my heart daily? How long will my enemy be exalted over me? 3
Consider and hear me, O LORD my God;Enlighten my eyes, Lest I sleep the
sleep of death;4 Lest my enemy say,“I have prevailed against him”;
Lest those who trouble me rejoice when I am moved. 5 But I have trusted
in Your mercy;My heart shall rejoice in Your salvation.6 I will sing to
the LORD,Because He has dealt bountifully with me.

David writes this Psalm in desperation for God to come into his life. He does not feel the presense of God through the hard times he is going through. Yet, even in the tough times and struggles, he rejoices in God and praises His name for all that He is. I'm working on praising God at ALL times in my life, because He deserves nothing less! Praise the Lord!

A New Place.

Two months ago, I began an experience that most young adults in America embark on: COLLEGE. As Carrie Underwood says in her song, "Don't Forget to Remember Me", "eighteen years had come and gone; for Momma they flew by, but for me they drug on and on." This became my theme song. How had I wished all of those years away? It reminded me of an experience I had at the age of fourteen. My family had decided to load us up and bring us all to Kingsdominion (our local theme park), and I was determined to ride the Drop Zone. I stood in line with a brave face, hesitantly watching the ride slowly bring it's victims up 305 feet, and drop them, stopping just in time not to hit the ground. A rush of wind would fly through my hair everytime they dropped. The whole experience seemed exhilerating, and the minutes I had to wait in the sweltering heat seemed like an eternity! Once it was my time to walk towards my seat, my feet seemed to somehow be glued to the ground. This was no longer cool or exciting, this was scary as anything to me. I pleaded with Janie and Lauren (my sisters) not to force me on, but before I knew it, I had a bar of steel strapping me in, feet dangling in the air. Each inch higher the ride took me, the more my stomach dropped and my white knuckles clenched the hot metal handles in fear. No matter how much I wanted to be on the ground, I had no choice but to be shifted up to the scariest experience I thought I would ever know. The drop was over within seconds, and afterwards--although I could hardly walk--I felt accomplished. (Though I vowed I would never do that again, and I have kept my promise). Growing up reminded me of this experience. Life has always been full of looking forward to something for me. In Kindergarten, I wanted to be a fifth grader. Later on, I looked forward to middle school, then high school, my first cell phone, my drivers license, my first car, my first kiss, my first boyfriend, graduation, summer vacations, and finally: College. I felt like my fourteen year old self again on the Drop Zone, wishing that I could go back, yet having no choice but to look forward and continue on. I realized... this time, I'm not going to wish this away. I am going to enjoy every moment. This summer, I found myself realizing that I have spent my whole life looking forward to goals and events in the future. I wished away my childhood because I wanted to be treated as a grown up. I wished away so many things in hopes of something better. What I've found is that God gives us opportunities to enjoy EVERY moment if we can just look for them!

Matthew 6:25-34 says this: “Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. ... "

Jesus tells us not to live for tomorrow. Do not live for what is yet to come. Do not be anxious, do not worry about you will eat or drink or what you will wear. God takes care of the birds who live from day to day. He takes care of the lilies in the field. So why, as God's children, do we feel the need to worry so much about what our lives will bring?

Back to what I was saying, I wished away the first 18 years of my life so I could go to college and be an adult, and all I found myself wanting to do was go back to the "good old days". However, God is showing me that He has put me here for a REASON. Everything He has done for me is for my own good. I need to live FOR HIM, for TODAY, and not worry or be anxious about my future. I need to not wish this time away, although it feels like I'm still on a roller coaster, and I have no where else to look but ahead. Although that is scary, it is also EXCITING! I know that God has SO many plans for me, but I need to leave the planning to Him, and at this moment, be THANKFUL for where I am RIGHT NOW. Praise God!